story about someone

I’ve once promised myself ‘ if he not the one, i never  open my heart again until it open by itself. I know its all my mistake, i shouldnt have fell to him. I shouldnt have known this, stupid girl. Its all my bad, i just grab n took away their happiness.

If i can vanish myself in this world, i will. If can remove feels of loving you, i will as long as you happy with it, if i can remove all the memory about you in my mind, i will so the things will not like this. If i can go back by time, i will choose for not knowing you at all and tell myself what i know now.

I hate myself more than i hate to face tomorrow.  If i could tell you that im the one who suffer more. no one knew because i hide it with smiles. i have told u rite, the medicine of pain is smile. So, my pain will dissapear. Its okay with me even it just go away for a while. if and only if you can see all this.

Everynight before i go to bed, i’ll pray that we can through the day without pain, tears or pretend to be happy when we’re not. Can i have that day?

If you think avoiding me is the best way to make us happy. You are totally wrong. It just the best way to make you happy and it just the best way to make me in worst condition.  u did’nt see it right? You can’t see through my heart dont you?

But its all okay with me. Its not your fault. Its my fault, i shouldnt have to love you. My mistake is i dont know  to be in love and i never be on it. When you were infront of me, out of the blue i totally blind and deaf. What does it means? I cant explain.  I can tell lies about anything,  but love do not lie to us. Love make someone do anything and give everything. Yes it is.

Everytime i see you pass me by, my tears slowly fall down but i make it fade away so you wont see me crying. Why cant i fight this tears? Dont you know It hurts when we feel we wanna cry but we cant. Something that make our heart in pain and heavy. What should i do cause i dont know how to be fine when im not.

We shared a lot of things and it seem easy to you to get rid of me from yourlife but im a half death to do it and i cant do it. Even i barely breath, but i still try to breath. Even i forgot how to smile, but why i have to cry?.

Love has kills me ones, when i know im not the one in your heart. Yes you are the sun but why i lost my shine.  

Now it kill me twice, when you bring rain here. im half dead girl with no light in her heart.

Outspoken, meningless life, out of light and she dont know who and what else she can believe  because her life seems fake. Yes I hope it fake and just a dream so when i wake up from this dream, i can smile with you again.

                                                                                                                                          =') C/P